This is a talk I prepared for church a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, there were six youth speakers and a musical number as well. I only ended up with about 5 minutes to speak, and not much of this was included.

Be Thou an Example of the Believers…

Context: Paul and the fulfilled law
Paul was a unique teacher of the gospel. While the Savior and most of the apostles were Hebrews and rarely left the small geographic area of Israel, Paul was a Roman, and traveled widely around the Roman empire, building up churches and supporting local church leaders. Paul often tried to teach members of the Church, raised in Jewish tradition, that Jesus asked us to live a higher law than the law of Moses. We are no longer expected just to keep the 10 commandments, and live a law of observances. Now we are to follow Christ and live as he lived, to offer a sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. Our requirement is to be the best we can, to be sanctified by the spirit, not just to be justified by achieving a minimum standard of obedience.

Timothy: an example of the believers
In 1 Timothy 4, Paul is coaching Timothy, one of his most trusted missionary companions and assistants this principle again. He points out that Timothy should be aware that because of his youth, some people with weaker testimonies or who haven’t yet learned the true nature of God and the gospel may misinterpret his behavior if he isn’t careful. He warns him to always be careful to be a good example. We have heard six talks already about the specific types of behavior that Paul mentioned- that could cause stumbling blocks for others. I have been asked to follow up on these talks by addressing this larger principle of being an example of the believers. We have heard talks this morning about ways to be good examples. I would like to describe some of what we can learn from Paul about what NOT being a good example can mean.

Eating Meat Offered to Idols
Paul attempts to illustrate this principle in 1 Corinthians 8. He describes, in those 13 verses, a unique example of the new way we are to live. He also shows us how easy it is to subtly let our pride get in the way and be a bad example in spite of our righteousness. In speaking about the practice of eating meat that had previously been offered as sacrifice to false gods, he says that it is not enough for us to know that idols are dead and meaningless. This personal justification may meet the factual criteria of righteousness. However, we must use that knowledge in the full context of a humble follower of Christ- always concerned about others and the impact of our actions- not just avoiding explicit sin.

I would like to read verses 9 through 12 of 1 Corinthians 8, in which Paul quite clearly describes the importance of not letting our pride allow us to rationalize being a bad example.

9 But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.
10 For if any man see thee which hast knowledge sit at meat in the idol’s temple, shall not the conscience of him which is weak be emboldened to eat those things which are offered to idols;
11 And through thy knowledge shall the weak brother perish, for whom Christ died?
12 But when ye sin so against the brethren, and wound their weak conscience, ye sin against Christ.

So What?: Don’t undermine the faith of others
I can’t think of any time I’ve ever had the opportunity to eat meat that had been sacrificed to an idol. For years I had carried this story around in my head, understanding roughly the point Paul was trying to make, but not sure exactly how it applied to me. I would like to propose to you what I think it means in today’s world, and as a member of the Church, to eat meat sacrificed to idols. Remember that the key issue is not the meat or the eating, it is the risk that we will act in a way that others will misinterpret. The sin is not teaching false doctrine, it is to act in a way that may undermine the faith of others.

We are always teaching: Marriage counseling
Years ago, when I worked as a marriage counselor, I had several occasions to get to know women who were in abusive relationships. Some of these were very ugly relationships, and as is almost always the case, there were not obvious or simple solutions to the situations. Early in each discussion, in an attempt to understand the woman’s position in the situation, I would generally ask whether she had considered leaving her husband or partner. In almost every case where there were children in the family, I would hear the response that whether or not they had considered leaving, the reason they had not actually left was out of concern for the lesson it would teach the children. This is a noble response. These women were choosing to subject themselves to personal violence or humiliation in order to benefit their children. There is no single appropriate recommendation for whether to stay in a relationship or not given a checklist of good or bad elements.

I did, however, come to the conclusion that addresses a much larger lesson for life. I think this lesson is very much like the lesson Paul would teach us. We are always teaching those around us. Whether we are teaching explicitly and intentionally to our children, or whether we are inadvertently teaching our neighbors or coworkers or friends- we are always teaching. In the case of the abused mothers I described earlier, while they were intentional about teaching their children that marriage is important and divorce is a bad thing, what they were teaching even more forcefully- whether they liked the message or not- was that staying married is more important than being safe or respected in your family relationships. Most mothers find this to be the last message they would actively teach their daughters.

We are always teaching those around us. We have special stewardships for our own children and those we have callings to help, but our responsibility is not specific. In Paul’s messages we see he instruction to always think carefully about our behavior, not just to be careful who sees us.

Me: Teaching by example is hard and humbling
This capacity for unintended teaching is one of the most powerfully unsettling forces in my life. I have my personal flaws, and I don’t always live up to this ideal, but I regularly think about my impact on others. Are there times when, in spite of my noble words about my testimony or my faith in Christ, my children see me behaving in a way that destroys their faith? There are obvious forms of hypocrisy that could undermine our moral authority at home, like asking others to tell callers that we aren’t home- when obviously we really are. These should be easy to recognize if we give it some thought. I’m even more concerned about more subtle inconsistencies. Do I tell my sons that they should willingly perform Priesthood service, but gripe or decline when I am asked to help someone move? Do we accept the callings we are given? Even if we accept, how do our family members hear us talk about the new calling? Do we, in all that we say and do, support our Bishop and Stake President?...Not just in how we act toward them and in our callings, but in all that we do- in the words our spouses, children or coworkers hear? What subtle messages do we send to our children about the Temple, tithing, church attendance, respect for spouse, love of God and other important things through our sins of omission or casual criticism?

Do I really have to live this higher standard?
You might ask, “Aren’t my kids, friends, neighbors and friends smart enough to understand that I’m not perfect? That I can believe in tithing or the Temple even if I don’t pay or go regularly? That is the problem. Paul warns us that people regularly can’t or don’t make that distinction. The statistics for smoking are telling. All else being equal, children of smokers are twice as likely as children of non-smokers to begin smoking. This is true even if the smoking parents make a point of discouraging smoking in their children. Do as I say, not as I do, doesn’t work. Children learn early in life that behavior is a far better indication of how people think and feel than what they say.

Another way to look at this challenge is that we are here to become more like Christ. Can you picture the Savior saying to himself, “I lived a righteous life, and kept all the commandments, if they weren’t so lazy and sinful, they could, too?” No, Christ spent his entire life and every bit of his energy both teaching and setting example for us. He worried about the faithless and how they would be strengthened by his actions. He never whined or complained or criticized others behind their backs.

Summary
Paul taught about the fulfilled Mosaic law, and encouraged Timothy and others to live in such a way that they would be an example to others. Not just an example of keeping the letter of the law, and obeying the commandments, but an example that would build faith in others, strengthening them and helping them see the wisdom in righteous living. May we strive to “let no man despise our youth” because of the attitude we carry or our cutting of corners in living the gospel.